Confessions... Marriage. Am I Missing Something?

December 31, 2018
lifestyle, marriage, relationships, situationships

No. Seriously, am I missing something when it comes to marriage? Looking in on the married life and even the “I’m no longer single” lives of others always gets me specifically around the holidays and when I am doing my job as a Brand Ambassador.

As I have mentioned before and several other times on all the platforms I am on, I am a Brand Ambassador for multiple brands in a well known cosmetic store chain. So when I see a couple walk in together I am stumped for the following reasons #1. A guy does not enter the store UNLESS he is into cosmetics. #2. He is paying attention to her and OM fu**-inG he is actually purchasing the items for her. Then there are the couples who are showing affection and the guy is walking besides her while reassuring her with words of encouragement such as, “Yeah bae. I love what you wear no matter what.” Some bull**it along those lines. When my eavesdropping self hears this, that is when I unconsciously tune into my jealousy and feeling of less self-worth. Before that even happens, I’m like awww followed by ‘Where the heck is my bae?’ Non-existent or I left him because I wasn’t attracted to him or he wasn't supportive enough and blah blah blah. I have a number of reasons of why it didn't work it.

lifestyle, marriage, relationships, situationships
Droopy
Credit: https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net
Then I start to feel the muscles in my face loosen (resembling that droopy) and an intentional sag of unhappiness comes over my face. Then I snap out of it. WTF am I jealous about? I know nothing of their relationship nor do I know that couple. Hell, Idk if they are totally happy or if he is verbally abusive and vice versa. Hell IDK if that is or she is his main or side piece. That is when my jealousy is goes away and reality sets it.

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I am totally rambling but yes, relationships and marriage and the men who do go with their women (on these shallow and self reassuring trips we take to a place where the unnecessary becomes necessary) are whom I applaud. These men, in my eyes, are supportive. I look at the couples and feel a hint of jealousy towards the women they are with. The jealousy comes from reflecting on my past and present relationships. Relationships that could have led to marriage however in my case it was commitments turned engagements that led to no marriage at all followed by many breakups. At times I feel as if I dodged a bullet. Other times I feel as if I missed something I’ve always wanted. But did I? I have no single clue what it is like to be married but I have lots of experience of failed relationships due to lack of communication and now something new called a situationship.

A situationship is a relationship where 2 people do everything that involves a relationship but one of the two parties involved doesn’t want to commit. S/he tell everyone about you and spends countless amounts of time with you but doesn’t want to acknowledge you as their partner. Yes one of the two may verbally state that you are marriage material but they mean that you are not marriage material for them. Hell it can be disappointing but it’s what you settled for. It’s a situationship and you the second involving party put yourself in that situation therefore YOU will never know what it’s like to have a relationship that leads to marriage with that person. Sucks doesn’t it? Big ups to all the females and males who allowed themselves to get in that bulls**t. Remember, that people are only going to do what you allow and that goes for every type of relationship including marriage.

From the outside looking in, I am curious as to why they did it. What made 2 people settle for one another and get married? What was the turning point that led from a situationship to a committed relationship turned life long partner ending with marriage? How did s/he know that this was their path of life? Did getting married benefit their overall life and did it lead to complete happiness?
You see, this is the type of ish that I think about when I see those couples walking into the cosmetics store when I am doing my job as a Brand Ambassador. It makes me wonder, if I didn’t choose to follow my career goals and dreams in the digital and cosmetics industry, would life be different than it is now? OR would it be somewhat same as a married individual? I’ll never know. But these are my Confessions of a Makeup Hoarder.

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Get The Perfect Curl Definition Using These 2 Products

December 26, 2018
Hold on to your curls ladies and gents. I've found another trick to create the perfect curl definition using Bella Curls "Curl Defining Creme" and my DIY Recipe of Rice Water. Yeah, I said it. Rice Water. The two of these together are amazing and the big contributing factors to my perfectly, defined curls.

Obsessed: Bella Curls "Coconut Curl Defining Cream" 16fl ounce $5.50
curly hair
curly hair, hair products
Coconut Curl Defining Cream by Bella Curls (click the link) is a brand that I stumbled upon during my financially aware shopping trips to Dollar General. I was there picking up my usual stuff and decided to walk down the small but good beauty aisle. Spotted it! Bella Curls, a Brazilian hair company that has created products for us curly hair girls. I scrolled through Instagram and Google to read some reviews and I was all in.


First Impression
This brown tub of product that was priced for only $5.50 caught my eye. I side eyed Cantu for a moment and reminisced about our great curl defining moments but I have to keep my vow. The vow I  publicly made to purchase more products from minority owned cosmetic companies hence The BICHE. ALSO because of all the reports coming in about cancer forming ingredient is products made non-black owned and or minorities that are targeted to the African American and minority community. No good.  I am a sucker for a good deal and products that are formulated with my hair needs and wants in mind.
Wanting to make sure that the product was sealed before purchase, I unscrewed the top (in the store) only to be disappointed. It wasn't sealed for freshness and protection from people poking their bacteria filled fingers BUT I think I got lucky. There were no finger prints or pokes in there. Whewwww.

Ingredients
Unfortunately their website doesn't have an ingredient list for their products, however the main ingredient is coconut so let's yap about coconuts AGAIN. Coconuts smell good and also packs the hair with shine and moisture. The other great benefit happens to be similar to Rice Water since they both contribute to hair growth. Win/Win!

Application Method

  1. Wash the hair with a moisturizing or clarifying shampoo. Use a moisturizing shampoo if you wash your hair 2x a week. Use a clarifying shampoo if you cleanse your hair once a week because the hair has a week's worth of product built on the scalp and hair strands. 
  2. Condition hair with a wash out conditioner such as the Sunny Isle Extra Dark Conditioner.
    curl hair, conditioner, sunny isle
    Comb through the hair and let it sit on the hair for approximately 7 minutes.
  3. Towel dry your hair and then start to evenly mist the hair with the Rice Water mixture. The Rice Water mixture contains argon oil so it will also soften the hair and act as a leave-in conditioner. 
  4. Use your finger to add a dime size amount to small sections of the hair starting from the front to the back. I prefer to do this before attempting to comb thru the hair. Once the Curl Defining Creme has been distributed throughout the hair then it also acts a protectant and less breakage happens if you choose to comb through. I don't comb through since I'm partially styling it.
  5. Allow the hair to air dry and go about your day. 


Overall Impressions
I really do like this product. My hair feels very soft, my curls are shiny and the curl pattern is so defined when I use this product without the rice water. When I do use the rice water mixed with the product there is a coating on my hair strand so my hair goes from dark almost black to dark medium brown to a dark brown color. There is a bit of flaking because of the coating and the product combined but oh well. The flakes only happen if you are playing in your hair, SO DON'T.
The only thing I have a issue with the product is that it didn't have a sealant. Other than that I would love to learn more about the actual ingredients so I can do a full product breakdown for you.
So grab your debit card, grab your cash or pull out your phone for Apple Pay and purchase you a tub of this goodness. I swear to you doll, this Curl Defining Creme and Rice water is the key to having the perfect curl definition...well until I obsess over another product;-)

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CURL DEFINING CREME?

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Grow Your Hair Longer & Stronger With Rice Water

December 19, 2018
Obsessed: DIY Rice Water
rice water, natural hair care
Image Credit: HairBuddah.net
Brief History
Rice Water. The cloudy water, nutrition packed water that according to the trend report "increases hair growth and elasticity". IDK how accurate that is but my older sister, who became a natural enthusiast a few years ago, decided to read up on this method and enlist our 2nd youngest sister on her research.

rice water, natural hair care
Image Credit: The Daily Mail UK

According to internet research (because I didn't go to the library to check out a book) DIY fermented rice water has been used in Yao, an Asian cultures for centuries. This cleansing, healthy hair, natural based product has been known to keep their hair very long, like as long as 6 feet, stop the hair from splitting and keeping it's natural color until the women of Yao reach close to their 80's. This is type of hair care that I like because it goes back to the basics. The basics of hair care before curiosity, technology, commercials, and paid social media posts by Influencers.

Benefits
Fermented rice water consists of the 8 out of the 18 amino acids we need to ensure healthy hair growth. The rice also contains vitamin B for strong hair, vitamin C which produces sebum aka natural oil that keeps the scalp moisturized and vitamin E which prevents hair less. Now that I can attest to because when I started using rice water 3 weeks, I could tell the difference. I lost less hair using the rice water solution than when I did not. Here's how to make rice water. FYI there are a ton of recipes but the fermented version is pretty darn amazing and smelly.

Directions
Remove rice from the bag and place into a colander. Turn on water rinse off the starch
Fill a 12 quart "sauce" pot 3/4 of the way with lukewarm water and allow it to come to a boil
Pour in half of the rinsed rice to the pot and boil. Stir until it softens
Remove the pot from heat and set aside to it cools.
Once it has been cooled dispense the water from the boiled rice into heat resident containers for easy pouring
To get more rice water solution, leave first batch of rice left in the pot and fill the pot again 3/4 of the way. Boil until it looks like mush.
Strain and dispense the water into more heat resistant bottles with lids.
To ferment, leave the rice water on the kitchen counter for 2 days. The smell will be similar to sour and someone who may need to take a bath
Then refrigerate.

Prep For Hair Care
Fill a clean and empty spray bottle ready and start to fill the bottle 1/10 of the way to the top. This $1 spray bottle from IKEA is the perfect size and the spay is amazing.
spray bottle, rice water
Image Credit: IKEA
Cut half of an orange and squeeze the juice into the bottle. An orange consists of citrus which is a natural cleansing agent that will cut down bacterial building up on the hair as well as cancel out some of the odor of the fermented rice water.
argan oil, rice water, loelle organics
Image Credit: Loelle Organics
Drip in 5 drops of argon oil. I personally love Loelle Organics because it is organic and it's actually oil without the extra, commercialized ingredients. Argan oil is known to soften, moisturize and increase the elasticity in hair.

By adding in the fresh orange juice and argan oil your hair will take in even more benefits. This combination I thought of on my own and is a win/win in my book since I've been using it for over 3 weeks. I've also found that this rice water and Bella Curls "Coconut Curl Defining Cream" is the key in achieving the Perfect Curl Definition. Oh and take a look at some of their curly hair, natural hair enthusiasts results of only using rice water for 4 months to 2 years.

COMMENT BELOW IF YOU HAVE TRIED RICE WATER

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Bath Time With Nubian Heritage Coconut & Papaya Bath Bombs

December 12, 2018
bath bombs, dry skin, skincare

Dude. Yes I called you Dude and should I say Bro! Broooooo! Seriously though, Bro bath time has become a weekly if not bi-weekly ritual for me. Here in Wisconsin and Illinois the weather from late September to March and even April becomes really cold and dry. It's so dry and so cold that if you don't maintain or restore moisture on your body you could risk the skin cracking and bleeding which is why I insist that you start to include baths especially baths with bath bombs. Which brings me tooooo drum role please 🥁

Obsessed: Nubian Heritage Coconut and Papaya Bath Bomb $15 for 4
These bath bomb were a steel that I found at T.J. Maxx for only $3 for a pack of 2. Normally when I see them at T.J. Maxx it is priced at $4 for a pack of 2 but on Nubian Heritage website  it is $15 for a pack of 4. While debating if I needed more skincare products and holding this product at the same time I researched this brand and read the reviews. Turns out Nubian Heritage is or more like was minority owned (which is a plus for me, well if it is a Minority Owned Beauty Brand [M.O.B.B.]) and contains natural based ingredients. Also these bath bombs are perfectly sized at 12 ounce per bath bomb for a party of 1 meaning ME!
bath bombs, dry skin, skincare
First Impression
This product packaging is super cute and screams my African and Indian heritages. I mean I have Irish roots too but this pattern doesn't scream that. The bath comes protected in shrink wrap packaged inside a rectangular box with a window so you can see the product color and size. The colors are super pretty thanks to the orange, white paisleys and black dots. The size of the bath bombs are not that large but it's large enough to where you do not waste product, unlike what I used to do with the ones from LUSH.

Ingredients
Coconut. I've mentioned the benefits before. Click HERE to read a previous article where I discuss the benefits.
Papaya. A fruit full of enzymes that is used in skincare to reduce blemishes, exfoliate dead skin and repair damaged skin. As we know the skin sheds therefore papaya accelerates the shedding of dead skin. The pulp of a ripe papaya provides hydration and nutrition to the skin due to the carbohydrate and fat content. This fruit is also good for sensitive skin.

Application Method
The simplicity of a bath is run the water and when it is 3/4 of the way full, drop in the bath bomb however I have another method.
vegan skincare, skincare, dry skin, vegan beauty
Fill the tube with hot water 1/2 of the way. Dispense 2-3 pumps of Alaffia body wash or another type of body wash directly under the water while it is still filling so the product evenly distributes. These body washes from Alaffia, a Minority Owned Beauty Brand (M.O.B.B.) consists of vegan ingredients such as mint and vanilla. These ingredients smell very good and is an added bonus for the bath.

almond oil, dry skin, skin care, organic
Next add in 2 eyedropper amounts or a tablespoon of argon oil, almond oil or either coconut oil to the water. I used almond or argon oil be Loelle Organics. By adding these types of oils to your bath you will soften the skin thus allowing the oils to further penetrate skin 2 layers deep which adds to the nutrients already in the bath bombs you will add later.

After you've added the oil and body wash in your bath soap that means that the water is now 3/4 of the way full and it's time to shut it off. OR You can be super extra and pour in some bubble bath solution just to make it more fun and beautiful. Next, drop in the coconut and papaya bath bomb. You will see it start to fizz up and all of the good stuff will be sitting on the surface. When you get it, it will latch onto the skin and work it's magic.
Please Note. This bath bomb doesn't fizz to the level of some of the LUSH bath bombs. However the payoff your skin will receive afterwards is well worth it. 

Optional. Light tea light candles and place them in the inner corners of the bath top and one on the outer corner where the shower curtain is not. YOU DO NOT WANT TO START A FIRE! Dim the lights, pour a glass of wine and chill.

Overall Impressions
This bath bomb is small but my skin loves it a lot. I have used both of the bath bombs and I am looking forward to buying more. T.J. Maxx does offer these at a lower price but if you not located near one then you can definitely purchase these online.

COMMENT BELOW YOUR FAVORITE BRANDS OF BATH BOMBS

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Confessions... Therapy My Own Way. Why Mental Health Is Worth More Than Pride

December 09, 2018
online therapy, counseling, lifestyle
Therapy my own started close to 5 years ago while living out of state. I was going through a lot of life changing events that made me put my mental health in the front seat over everything. Some things that I allowed to tear me up and eat away at me had gotten to an all time high and that's when I realize that my mental health was worth more than my pride. It was worth more than feeling unhappy or sad. Still to this day, when I am feeling stressed or have been put in an emotionally compromised situation, I mentally respond immediately. I become really quiet and start to get temporarily trapped in my emotions. My breathing starts to deepen. I inhale deeply for a few moments and then powerfully exhale the bulls*t and something amazing happens. My mind starts reacting, the ideas start flowing and that is when my writing begins. Since I was a child, writing had always been my own version of therapy. Granted I didn't know what therapeutic activities were, but I did it because it distracted me and allowed to just loose myself in my creative writing.
From each swift stroke of the keys on the keyboard I can feel the pressure easing up and the relief starting to come through. I start to type so fast that my thoughts are faster than my fingers and I cannot keep up. The content is overflowing so much that I start to use Siri who helps me to verbalize these ideas in the notes app. The content that I develop isn’t bitter like the brief emotions I felt rather it is inspirational and thought provoking.

Reversing disappointment
to evoke positive mental stimulation is a form of therapy that I have been using for close to 5 years now. When someone is disappointed they tend to make irrational moves or react with their emotions based on that one brief moment only to regret it later. It is what I have seen and what I have also experienced first hand. So rather reacting I choose to initiate action by helping others to feel their best and even look their best (thanks to also working as being a Beauty Brands Ambassador). When you help others, you are also influencing their psyche and heart. You are exercising a part of their mind while also relieving what may be lying heavy on their heart. It’s a great way to improve your mental health and even theirs.

The others ways I practice therapy my own way are: practicing Pilates moves, learning more yoga moves and full body exercises, taking a walk around the city or lake, NOT scrolling through social media (jealousy and life comparisons can cause me rethink every decision I ever made), reading books or magazines, acrylic pouring on white canvases, watching or making Beauty videos on YouTube, cooking and/or watching HGTV. All of these activities assist will allow the not so happy emotions to run their course, allow my mind start to clear, and begin the content creating process again. Speaking of yoga, Bikram Yoga is one of thee best ways I relieve stress. It’s a bit expensive but the full body therapeutic stress relief, happiness, great body, and healthy mental stability you will feel after you do it, is worth it. 


Side Note. I stumbled upon Bikram Yoga almost 4 years ago while living in Florida 2.5 years ago. One day at the end of summer I decided that I wanted to exercise again. Granted I was already getting my daily dose of exercise walking back and forth to the bus stop in 90-degree weather (because I was preparing to purchase a car), but I could feel my energy level increasing as my body size was decreasing. During my walks and bus rides I had plenty of time to self reflect on how much I missed working out... running, swimming, playing tennis but simply being physically active. Fast forward a couple weeks later, I purchased a car and found my hot yoga studio Bikram Yoga West Orlando by SeaWorld. I started attending classes there twice a week and then 3 times a week. This yoga studio had become a place of self healing and therapy for me and helped me realize that focus and concentration as well as decompressing is very much how we can deal with the things in our life.
When 2 months had passed, I introduced a friend and she also become a yogi.
  
Bikram Yoga is form of yoga that consists of 26 poses and breathing excises in either a 90-degree or 105 degree room for 60 minutes or 90 minutes. The benefits include weight loss, stress relief, mental and digestive detox, and increased body and mind concentration. At the beginning of the class the yoga instructor guides you through the breathing excises then tells you about the internal and external benefits this type of yoga will do for your body and your mind. With each pose you are both strengthening your exterior while massaging the muscles and the organs from within. With each breath you take you are inhaling the benefits and exhaling all the self doubt and stress that you felt before. Over the course of session you or more like I felt so happy and so healthy and so blessed to realize that everything is temporary and you have to learn how to just live life fully. Release elements that do not have an immediate effect of the longevity of your life and accept this beautiful thing called life by living it and making each moment count.

Now that I am here in Wisconsin and have found a Bikram Yoga studio called Hot Yoga Milwaukee, I try to attend it a few times a year but because I live in a different city, I practice a shorter version of Bikram Yoga from home. Every time I travel out of state for my job, I find a Bikram Yoga studio and attend at least 2 classes depending on how long I am in that area. It’s truly a great option to exercise your psyche and a great experience of mental happiness. 

To ensure that your mental health is #1 you can do a number a things. You can speak with a licensed therapist/counselor. A therapist or counselor will not have any preconceived notions therefore it makes it a safe environment for you to express yourself. You self therapy routes such as exercise, meditation, and/or going back to a hobby that gave you the most joy. When I do my job as Beauty Brands Ambassador I know that the moment I walk through the door, these people that I am interacting with have no idea what I am going through mentally and physically. They know nothing about me but I come to know them. Some share with me what they are going through in life, how certain products enhance their mood or how they simply need to get out of the house only to end up there. These ladies and men look to me to provide them with answers to their questions about my knowledge of the beauty industry and the products in that store. I love this. Helping stimulates my mind and it stimulates my heart. I love to help others in the field of beauty because help didn’t always come easy when I needed it long ago. Those being said, make you a priority. Handle your emotional distractions and disappointment with positive actions and always know that therapy your own way is worth more than your pride when it comes to your mental health.


Thank you for reading. 

COMMENT AND SHARE HOW YOU PRACTICE GREAT MENTAL HEALTH  

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Loelle Organic Rose Soap

December 07, 2018
rose oil


Obsessed: Organic Rose Soap $5.45 for 7g
My obsession is real when it comes to the majority of the products I receive from Loelle Organic Beauty as a Sponsored Brand Ambassador. I've been using their products for over 3 years and the Organic Rose Soap is another goodies or should I say AMAZING product that leaves your skin feeling as good as it smells. Granted you can just take me for my word but instead allow me to give you the breakdown of the product itself.

First Impression
The rose soap came packaged in a sandy wood colored, recycled cardboard with a simple label on the front and more product information on the back. Removing the bar soap from the packaging I couldn't see right away that it was shrink wrapped but could definitely tell because there was no lingering smell of the slightly sweet and bitter hint of organic roses once it was removed.
The color of the bar soap wasn't a green tint like on the website rather it was the color of light pink rose. It looks as if the bar soap was already wet but it was not.

Ingredients
Distilled Water. Distilled water is slightly different than purified. Water goes through distillation process here the hydrogen and 2 oxygen bonds are boiled out of contaminants. Contaminants or inorganic materials such as minerals and metals. So when the water is boiled higher than 212 degrees, the steam is captured and cooled thus becoming distilled water. Now that's good water for skin care.
Castor Seed Oil. 
Coconut Oil. I've talked about the benefits before in this article How To Use Coconut Oil For Your Skin and Hai
Almond Oil. I've talked about the benefits before in this article Lancome Tonique Confort Facial Toner. Oooo La La 
Rose Oil. I've been studying the benefits of roses because I was a Brand Ambassador for the brand Mamonde. Rose are naturally known to plump the skin all the while brightening and softening it. Roses can be a natural astringent and cleansing oil. When a rose goes to through the distillation process the natural oil comes out in a very small quantity which is why it is so expensive. Please do not confuse rose oil for rose essential oil. Essential oil primarily is used for aromatherapy and cannot be applied directly to the skin. If you choose to use Rose Essential Oil for pain relief it has to be mixed with a carrier oil such as almond or argon oil then it can be applied to the skin.

Application Method
loelle rose oil

Cleansing the face is simple. Remove makeup with coconut oil or a makeup remove then rinse with lukewarm water. With your hands wet start to work the soap bar in your hands and place under the water again to work up a lather. Once you got a good lather then start to massage the soap lather on the face using small, circular motions. Be gentle around the eyes. Then rinse the face with cool water to close the pores. Towel blot dry then apply toner and moisturizer.

Overall Impression
Staying true to the route of clean beauty Loelle Organics continue to help my skincare goals of using the best products with less chemicals and more natural ingredients. Don't take my word for it. Give Loelle Organic Rose Soap a try.

WHAT'S YOUR GO TO BEAUTY BAR?

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Confessions…Can Counseling Stop You From Overthinking?

December 04, 2018
Think about that question for a moment? Will talking to a counselor actually stop you from overthinking? It’s like yes you can go the free route of talking to family or friends but then you have to wonder if they are judging you or simply telling you what they think you should hear or doing. Yes, your mom and dad loves you and only want the best for you but they keep asking you for grand babies. Oh and your friends are wondering how much more dating are you going to do until you settle down. Then you’re just like “WTF does that have to do with my career decision to live abroad?” Let’s reflect on my history with the word “counselor”.
online counseling


You see, I tend to reflect on the past. I reflect on it so much that it makes me wonder how come I didn’t start professional counseling the moment I started questioning every move I made in life. Then again… I know why I did not. It started when I was a child. From grades K-12, we were assigned guidance counselors aka “paid snitches”. Yes, that may be wrong to address them as such things but in my opinion that’s exactly what they were. They were paid to sit, listen, jot down notes, judge and then take action. Now thinking about the term “guidance counselor” as an an adult, not once was there a reassurance of confidentiality and that was because the school couldn’t legally do such a thing. As a minor we had no rights and we had no privacy therefore if we decided to open up and speak freely we were unaware of what would happen next. I mean I can’t blame them because there job wasn’t to actually counselor, it was to guide. However now that I am an adult and I know that professional, adult counselors who counsel adults cannot break a legally binding confidentiality contract. A person needs to feel comfortable. I need to feel comfortable in a judgement free zone. It’s something that I believe that everyone needs.


A professional, adult counselor is someone who doesn't know you. His or her’s job is to listen, advise and not judge. Emphasis on the action word “listen”. They make suggestions without it seeming like they are forcing you to do something. These suggestions are also triggers for helping you to understand the how’s, why’s and what for? Unlike friends and family who you seek information from, a counselor will make a suggestions in the form of a question. A question that will spark a thought followed by (your) raised eyebrows. Followed by more thoughts. Then you’re like, “Heyyyy. Maybe I should (do that). Maybe I should stop doing that… OR maybe I should try...” For me, a professional guidance counselor rather it be online or onsite in my life during a personal situation is a breath of fresh air. It is also a need that I find myself wanting more and more of because of my tendency to reflecting on the past.


Reflecting on the past is something that I have done so much that it has mentally screwed me. I tend to overthink and play out situations in my head that past either 10 minutes ago up to 10 years ago. I think about the what haves, what not's, what if’s and how could I have done better. More like, how could I have acknowledged my happiness instead of my normal RBF and stale face. Noticing this pattern I tend to repeat, I am looking to stop this. I want to be in the moment, respond right then and there and not reflect on it later. I’m ready for a change.


I just hit the age of 36 it’s time. But the question still remains, can counseling stop me from overthinking?


COMMENT YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT COUNSELING. HAS IT HELPED YOU?

Thank you for reading.

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The Holiday Sales Are Here!

November 23, 2018
The Holiday Sales Are Here! The Beauty Sales Are Here!

Idk about you but I totally love a sale. I especially love the sales that happen leading up to Thanksgiving, after Thanksgiving, Christmas and after Christmas. Honestly, the holidays are the best times to shop because guess what? It's the end of the year and these companies are so ready to get rid of the old and bring in the new! Aren't you excited! I am? Since this is a beauty and lifestyle blogsite let's just hop right on it.
FYI, these are minority owned brands that I will be mentioning. I started to make the switch a few months ago when I launched "The Beauties In Color Here Everyday", a platform that highlights minority owned cosmetic brands DAILY on Instagram. Granted, I still receive products from brands that are not minority owned, but for this post, I will be mentioning Minority Brands. Please Follow The BICHE on InstagramPinterest and on YouTube to view how I use these amazing products from those brands.  


LET'S GET STARTED
MAKEUP BRANDS

Beauty Bakerie 30% Off
beauty bakerie


Klarity Kosmetics Up to 50% Off
klarity kosmetics


Coloured Raine Up to 70% Off. Additional 10% Off With Affiliate Code: MAKEUPFORWOC

coloured raine

Laws of Nature Cosmetics Up to 30% Off
laws of nature cosmetics


Pat McGrath Labs 25-30% Off
pat mcgrath labs


Fernormenal Beauty 75% Off. Use Code: THEBICHE for 15% Off and/or BLCKFRIYAH
thebiche



SKINCARE BRANDS

Black Girl Sunscreen Buy One Get One FREE
black girl sunscreen


Breed Love Beauty Co 30% Off All Orders With Code: BLACK
skincare


The Facial Bar Up To 60% Off. Save 20% Off When You Subscribe
acne treatments


A Y E L E formally known as Bahi Cosmetics 45% Off All Products. Additional 10% Off With Affiliate Code: WOC
acne treatment

King Street Apothecary 30% Off
aromatherapy

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What Does Healthy Eating Mean To You?

November 11, 2018
What does healthy eating mean to you? For me healthy eating means a number of things. It is the what's, how's, and when as well as how it is prepared. I tend to eat a lot of vegetables and drink a lot of fluids multiple times a day during a 7 day week. Out of those 7 days, 3 of those I want to say forget it all and pass me a smoothie so I can just drink my nutrition. Don't get me wrong though, I love Fish Fry Fridays' here in Wisconsin, fried chicken from Pick N' Save any day of the week as well as anything tempura style from my favorite Japanese restaurants but my body doesn't and neither does my (small) money bags want it. That being said, this is what healthy eating means to me.

What I Eat
Vegetables.
black beans

I eat a ton of vegetables. Whatever the season is you will always see my plate or bowls full of vegetables. Normally I eat the vegetables raw because of the nutritional value but when my carpal tunnel isn't acting up, I season them a bit and cook them to change the taste as well as the texture. It's so yummy. I also love to mix it up a bit by adding some bottled sauce such as Tika Masala and pair it with rice. Speaking of carbs...

Carbs.
I am not obsessed with any form of carbohydrates. Granted I do pair the Jasmine Rice with my Tika Masala and I do love a good ol' bowl of angel hair pasta with non-beef meatballs and non-beef bolognese sauce. It is the best.  However because carbs are so heavy if it is a refined carbohydrate aka white carbohydrate, I try to stay clear of it. At one point I was switching out the regular pasta to the whole wheat pasta and I hated it but after a while I got used to it. But yes, once in a while you will see my attempting to down a bowl of pasta.

Meat.
I'm not consuming red meat anymore for two reasons. The first reason being that it takes too long to digest and the second is the fact that cows are big vegetarians. I simply cannot eat it any longer. I will continue to eat the cheese and yogurt but I'm seeking alternatives such as soy, almond or some type of diary free cheese and yogurt.

What I Drink
Our bodies need to stay hydrated and water is #1 for me but outside of that I drink 4 types of beverage.

Almond or Soy Milk.
I drink these two types of milk for the calcium since I no longer drink cow's milk. Consuming regular milk causes clogged pores, acne breakouts such whiteheads so I try to stay away from cow's milk.

Coffee.
I like coffee but after so many years of purchasing the overly flavored and overly sweet coffee blends (that could increase your chances of being a diabetic) at Gloria's Jeans, Starbucks and Colectivo, I decided and so did my health, that simple is better. I now make purchase a bag of vacuum sealed $5 espresso every month and brew it every other morning using my $10 French Press from Ikea.
It is stronger, costs me less money and satisfies my craving for caffeine since I am not much of soda drinker. The only time you will catch a soda in my hand is I am being spontaneous by eating pizza or Japanese food. Other than that I just stick with coffee for a caffeine high.

Fruit Infused Water.
I had known about fruit infused water before but the recipes I've used in the past (and some in the present) calls for adding sugar which is what I normally stay away from. I get my sugars from fresh fruit. But when I went to New Orleans, Louisiana in 2017 and at the Marriott Hotel in the French Quarter I feel in love with the simplicity of fruit soaked in water that they were refilling every 20 minutes in the lobby. It's the most simple recipe you'd ever make. Basically take a handful of your favorite fruit, put it in a large glass pitcher and fill the pitcher with water. Put it in the fridge for an hour and then enjoy.

How I Prepare Meals
There are so many ways that a meal can be prepared; I have done them all. My number one favorite cooking method is grilling with small but beautiful flavors.
grill seasonsing

Grilling is great because you can do it on the stove top with a grill pan, on a foreman (electronic) grill or on an actual grill that has either charcoal or firewood. FYI firewood is better because of the smokiness and the natural flavors of the wood. Whichever method you choose, it is simply the best. When you do this method of cooking, keep it simple by drizzling olive or coconut oil, salt and pepper, fresh herbs such as thyme or rosemary, lemon or lime juice. Put the vegetables on a skewer (so you can get the grill marks) or in an aluminum pan and let it the grill work it's magic.

Sauteing or Wok Cooking.
It's pretty much like putting all the ingredients in a wok or big skillet aka frying pan, add whatever seasons you are feeling at that moment, use grapeseed oil or peanut oil, heat the pan then start sauteing. The best temperature to use when sauteing is medium-high heat. If the temperature is any higher or any lower than that then it will become either done too quick and can possible burn or it will be too soft and a bit under cooked. Just think of how the cooks do at Japanese restaurants on the hibachi grill. That's will then put the flavors together. You can pair it with brown rice or have some type of thin noodles and it's pretty much good to go.

Baking.
Ummm. Not really. I may do it once in a while but baking takes more time since there is a lot of preparation and waiting. Once everything is in the oven then you have to make sure that timing is correct and watch it. If I do not watch the time, then I will burn it. Oops.

Frying. The last thing you will catch me doing is frying. Once in a while I will do it but it doesn't happen that often because of the simple fact that food is doused in flour or cornmeal then deep friend in oil. So it's a ton of unhealthy things going on..


I honestly love eating healthy because not eating healthy means issues in the long run.

WHAT DOES HEALTHY EATING MEAN TO YOU?


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Curly Hair Must Have Product! TRUE Made By Beautiful Hydrating Hair Butter

October 24, 2018
The key to defining my curls has a been a never ending process for the past 6 years. I love some products, I dislike the others but overall I am loving the fact that I am learning more and more about my hair everyday. One product that I have really been loving is the Hydrating Hair Butter, (YES, butter) by TRUE Made By Beautiful. Take a read of why.

Obsessed: TRUE Made By Beautiful Hydrating Hair Butter
curly hair
First Impression
This product was brought to my attention when I was at Sally's Beauty Supply one day. Or was it Instagram? Shit, I really do not remember. But I do remember trying to find more minority owned hair companies or cosmetic brands in general because my needs and wants have changed. Anyhow this product is amazing. It comes in a plastic jar with a twist off top and a sealant to preserve the freshness of the product. It is creamy and smooth and true to a butter's nature it will leave your hair looking glossy, moist and if you put on a little too much on like I did, it can feel a bit greasy.

Ingredients
It was the ish. I mean this stuff had so many good review online that I knew I had to have it. It has no parabens, no sulfates and get this. It has actually shea butter, coconut oil, mango and honey. Talk about a hair smoothie for your hair. I've talked about the benefits of honey in the post  "Lancome Tonique"and coconut oil in the post "How To Use Coconut Oil For Your Skin and Hair". So let's talk about the benefits of shea butter and mango.

Shea Butter
It is a smoothing a moisturizing oil that helps to reduce scalp irritation, doesn't clog pores and is great for all hair types. Shea butter can be used on the healthiest heads of hair or even the most damaged thanks to it's healing affect. Packed with Vitamins A and E as well at the high content of fatty acid, it's no wonder why this is pretty amazing for the hair. You can also use this super butter as a heat protector.

Mango
Did you know that mangoes are packed with Vitamin A which good for both adding shine and fighting dandruff? That's amazing right! Not only that but a mango is also packed with Vitamin E that circulates the blood flow thus increasing hair growth. Idk how you are feeling right now, but this hair butter sounds more like a hair growth hack I NEED TO KEEP in my hair styling regimen.

Application Method

  1. Wash and condition hair with either a clarifying shampoo (to remove previous product build up) and a moisturizing conditioner (to put the moisture back in) or wash and condition hair with a moisturizing shampoo (to cleanse and soften the hair) and hydrating conditioner (to make the hair strands more breathable). 
  2. Rinse conditioner with lukewarm water and remove only 85% of it if you are applying a leave in conditioner next. 
  3. Dry hair with hair towel not a bath towel or either a 100% cotton shirt to avoid making the hair frizzy. 
  4. Depending on the length of hair start to distribute a small amount of leave in conditioner to the hair. OR
  5. Start to distribute a nice amount of the hydrating hair butter to small sections. The goal is to saturate the hair strands with a a nice amount of product for definition and a lasting style. 
  6. Let the hair air dry or use a diffuser on the blow dryer with a medium heat setting. Once the hair is close to being dry with the hair dryer, set the dryer to the cool setting to set the style in place.
  7. For next day styling either spray the hair with water or use your hands to dampen the hair. DO NOT PUT YOUR HEAD UNDER WATER AGAIN. Wait 3-4 days for your next hair washing day.
curly hair

Overall Impression
I really do love this product and I love the fact that it is a Minority Owned Cosmetic Brand. My curly hair feels soft, the curls feel defined and my scalp is not irritated nor does it feel as if there is oil sitting on my scalp. Heck, I love it so much that if I see it on sale then I will purchase 2 of them. Thankfully Sally's Beauty Supply has these normally on sale for buy one and get the other half off. Talk about a score.

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Anastasia Beverly Hills Artist Palette

October 16, 2018
Originally Posted May 2, 2014

Obsessed: Anastasia Beverly Hills Artist Palette





Finally, finally, finally. I have gotten the time to do a “in a rush” look for you. So my in a rush look this week is using the Anastasia Beverly Hills "Artist Palette. The "Artist Palette" is kind of different than all the other palettes I've purchased from this company and honesty I'll be obsessing about it a little later because OMG! OMG! I won't spill the beans yet. So without further ado here is my "In A Rush" look for you.


Application Method
Apply all facial prep and prime makeup
Fill eyebrows and clean arch with concealer or founder.
  1. Apply Ben Nye "Banana Powder" under eyes for highlight and to catch any fallout
  2. Prime eyes with primer, I used NYX eyeshadow stick in "Milk"
  3. Apply "Buttery" all over the blending up towards the brow bone
  4. Apply "Orange You Fancy" in the crease blending into buttery
  5. Apply "Phresh" into the corners of the eyelids near the tear ducts blending slightly into "orange you fancy"
  6. Lightly "Baby I'm A Star" into the outer corner of the eyes into the crease creating a "v" shape blending slightly into "Orange You Fancy" and blending outward for cateye
  7. Creating a wing using a black cream or gel eyeliner
  8. Apply 5 coats of lengthening and volumizing mascara to the top lashes
  9. Brush away any fallout and use a beauty blender to look in the highlight from the "Banana Powder" and your look is complete

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